Otto, please read my letter before you let your actuators shred it
by For the Kingdom
Summary: In the cannon of "Ultimate Spiderman" and takes place during or just before the episode, "Sinister Six". While the prisoner of the Sinister Six, Curt Connors writes Otto a letter, trying to remind him of their friendship.


A/N: I listened to "String Theory" by Les Friction while writing this.

"In another time,

we would be as one.

In another place,

lives would only just begun.

We walked beneath the sun,

lie beneath the stars,

grow upon the earth,

this is what we are.

It didn't have to be this way,

but this is what we are."

* * *

Otto, please read my letter before you let your actuators shred it:

I know there isn't much sense in sending you a letter since we see each other every day, but when we are together I never get to talk to you - not that I'd know what to say. I only know what to say when I am alone at night.

I don't mean to sound trite – and were things better, you would probably tease me about this – but please think about what you are doing.

Please don't take this as a personal attack.

I know you are still the Otto who stayed up all night gene sequencing with me in college, and the same one who came to all my failed barbecues. Osborn did something terrible to you, I know, but you don't have to let him win.

So what if your way of life has changed? So what if things are more complicated? You are still Otto, a human, a _person_, and you can't let him take that from you.

Remember who you were before the actuators. You had passion, goals. You had Rosie. Doesn't that mean anything to you anymore? I still remember her. I still grieve for her. Do you? You must.

I refuse to believe my closest friend is gone. If you, Otto Octavius, the greatest optimist the world has ever seen, can give up your humanity, what hope is there for a reptile like me?

You have always inspired me with your charisma and your brilliance. You are the reason I dared to apply to SHIELD in the first place. You never gave up on me, and now I'm not giving up on you. If I did, it would be like giving up on myself.

While I don't like being controlled, the inhibitor chip you put on me does help keep the lizard at bay – a luxury I thought I would never have again. You probably didn't think of it that way, but it actually has been sort of nice in that small respect. The technology reminds me of the inhibitor you used on yourself once. I wonder: have you tried it again?

You mentioned once, I think, the power of the actuators. You fought them so faithfully for a while. What happened? Tell me honestly: did you decide that giving in was the best option, or did you just get tired of fighting?

Everyone is tired of fighting. Harry Osborn is tired, I'm tired. We have it worse, I guess, but even those who live the way we used to have to struggle to maintain decency. No matter how hard it is for you and me, we can't give up.

I heard or read something about fighting; supposedly, you aren't supposed to think about what you're killing, but about what you are protecting. That has stuck in my mind and I think about it all the time, especially now; it gives me focus and keeps me from giving into my own demon.

I remember that I am not trying to kill the lizard for its own sake; I am protecting my wife and my son from the danger it causes. I'm also protecting my son from losing his father. I don't want him or my wife to have to go through hell because of my own mistake.

I was getting better at controlling the lizard, but you completely messed it up. I don't even know where to start now. But that isn't what I wanted to talk to you about; maybe a few weeks ago it was, but now, the only thing that concerns me is my family.

Please, Otto, let me go back to them. Out of all the powerful villains roaming the streets, why did you have to choose me? I don't share your vision and all I do is crawl the sewers sometimes when things go poorly. Please let me show them that I'm okay. I can't stand how much grief I'm causing them (for your information, this is interfering with my control of the lizard, as well). My son is only six years old. Please. Don't do this to him.

I wish I had never even thought of regenerative therapy. It seemed so good at the time, but despite what I thought, the risks weren't worth it. Do you ever doubt, Otto? Do you sometimes, even silently to yourself, want to get a job as a high school teacher or something and leave this insanity behind you?

I think sometimes, things are better left alone; and when they're ruined, it's better to let them die in peace instead of trying to avenge them. Please, Otto. Whatever you are trying to accomplish, it isn't worth it.

Remember who you are and why you studied science in the first place. Those things you used to say about the world, those opinions about the good of humankind: those don't just go away.

Your loyal friend,

Curt

* * *

A/N: Some background in case this confused you: this is based on the _Ultimate Spiderman _cannon. In recent episodes, Otto has captured Curt Connors, who has been having a hard time controlling his lizard side, and has put an inhibitor collar on him that allows Otto to control when he transforms (both into the lizard and back) and what he does when in his lizard form. Doc Ock is keeping him as a forced member of the Sinister Six, or he was until Curt (or the Lizard, rather, escapes). But this is a letter Curt wrote to Otto while in captivity.


End file.
